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Why are parents working so hard? The driving, the meets, the games, the recitals, the paperwork, the research, the worrying – is all undertaken to ensure that your child has accomplished enough to get into a reputable college. But college is not the endgame. A parent wants their child to enter a profession or career that pays well, provides stability and offers satisfaction that will sustain them for many years. College is a means to an end…..with some valuable life lessons thrown in. Estate Planning documents often contain educational provisions regarding college expenses and tuition. Less present is a framework for supporting children as they transition from young adulthood into their early 30’s.
While a parent is alive, they can control the flow of money to a young adult child as they begin their post-graduation life. Wills and Trusts contemplate a parent’s passing and the instructions left for their Executors and Trustees with regards to estate distributions for that child. Many estate documents allow for two lump sums to coincide with a 25th and 30th birthday. Even though I am not usually a fan of micromanagement, adult responsibilities can quickly pile up, leaving your child on unsteady ground. Pools of money can disappear quickly without proper management. Endowing your fiduciaries with “discretion” to use resources for your child’s benefit is an intelligent solution. A parent or chosen executor/trustee can pinpoint the areas of concern and set-up quarterly or monthly payments to cover rent, moving expenses, car leases, insurance and other bills. A new business opportunity may require a larger investment. “Discretion” will open, not close the door on a family funding plan which could be a springboard for your child’s work success. Parents and fiduciaries always have to weigh risk and equality as to other siblings.
The stigma of continuing parental support still exists, but it really is a relic of a bygone era. To some of my older friends, the idea that parents take such an active role in every facet of their child’s life is a little bonkers. I completely disagree. Housing costs, food costs and personal technology costs have exploded. Starting salaries may not be enough to cover all expenses. Sending your kids out into the world to survive on their wits is a recipe for trouble. Not every career starts with a bang. Some pursuits take years to develop and blossom. Some family help plus the establishment of a regular savings habit for those early paychecks will pay off later, especially as a positive career trajectory takes hold. Your child also has to educate themselves about Retirement Accounts and think about forming a relationship with a financial advisor. We are not going to remove “self-reliance” from our children’s vocabulary. Like many of us now know after a lifetime of learning from our mistakes, a little more guidance and patience from a parent during those transition years would have gone a long way.
What has remained unmentioned until now is the career choice itself. What a parent wants and what a parent gets are two different things. Your children may decide on careers that you personally think are less than wonderful. Don’t judge too harshly. Be there for them and give them the tools to build a wonderful life. For more information on estate planning for your children, contact the professionals at The Feller Group, P.C.
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